Emma @ 1, she turned 1 on the trip up

This is the tour with the 10 Series landrovers and 2 Range Rovers to Gonarazhou, Zimbabwe, next month. It looks like it is going to be lots of fun with us being the youngest in the group and having the youngest child.

Our Zim trip was amazing. It started at a very cold 3:30am on Thursday morning. We all piled into the car, went to fetch Lily and headed off to meet the other 11 Legends (old series landrovers and my mom’s Range Rover). We were soon on our way to the border with M bouncing between the front and back seats of Lily with myself and Kalene to catch her on each end. We stopped for the Nandos (for you Ang) birthday party under the Baobab (a real African epic) and were on our way again. The border was pretty stress free which is unusual for the SA – Zim border. We stopped to pet the tame Giraffes at Bubi river and headed to the famed Lion and Elephant Motel to spend our first night.

After sweating in the car for hours we were delighted to find cold beers and a swimming pool as well as a well grassed campsite. M settled in quickly and was soon digging out the mopane worms from under the blanket and shoving them in her mouth. Apparently they are quite tasty as no amount of “YUCKS” and face pulling would discourage her from her dinner finding role. The next morning we were up and packed by 9am and were off towards Gonarazhou (going to join up with kruger eventually). A biltong and beer stop and we were off on a 200km dirt road towards ‘darkest Africa’.

The roads were epic and still show the scars of this years floods in the area. The actual road is littered with potholes while the donkey track is littered with steep ‘onramps’ and ‘offramps’ add the complication of cambers that run the wrong way as well as heavily laden landrovers going at speed with their 6/8 petrol jerries tied to the roof. This meant that there were a few hair raising moments when we careered into a mopane forest and a few almost fall overs. We then decided to brave the main road potholes and all – at least we would be alive to tell the tale. It also meant that if anything was going to break it would on that road – a good 2hours was spent helping someone else fix their car!

We arrived at the turn off to find a road closed sign. The locals informed us that we should use the road anyway, they neglected to mention that the main bridge to the main camp at Gonarazhou had been washed away and that we could not access it. It was a really impressive sight – huge concrete struts littered in the water like discarded toys. Most of the bridge was missing with a car sized pothole just before the bridge. All very ominous and we should have taken it as a sign of things to come in Lily. We then got a taste of real Africa time as we waited for the game guard to arrive to sort out our bookings. His transport was by means of boat across the Runde river, but it is never that easy. First he had to be called from the camp about 20 mins away on the other side of the river. Much shouting and the message was relayed that he was wanted. We then had to wait for a huge wardrobe and 2 bicycles to be transported across the river. Only then did the man make his appearance. Much haggling over entrance fees and whether to pay as he had no receipt book ensued. Coming from Joburg conland, I was dubious about giving this man more $ than he would earn in a year with no receipt book but eventually as we started on the 4th hour of waiting we decided that this would be the quickest option to get into the park.

Money paid we raced down the 60km track to our campsite trying to arrive before dark. All was going well until the first ‘speed hump’. These are apparently erosion barriers but they would make the steepest speed humps in Joburg look small and mingy. We all hit it at about 70kmph and nearly all landed up with things implanted in our heads. We slowed down after that and took a more leisurely approach to the road obstacles, be they tortoises, washed away bridges, speed humps or trees. We arrived at the Chinguli camp as the sun was setting and all bustled to get camp set up. Then it was off to the sheltered spot in the river to wash off all the dust and grim of the day while keeping a careful eye open for crocodiles and other campers. By then the need to go to the loo had caught up with us and it was off to look at the ablution facilities. The toilet walls were there, there was a toilet. There was also the spiders of ages camping out in the toilet as well as a lack of water. With 27 people trying to use the loo this was not going to work and we all shuffled off to retrieve loo paper and spades. Yes, the true camping test – having to dig a hole to go to the loo.

We woke early the next morning to M bouncing over everyone and squealing in delight with each find, we were also treated to the most spectacular sunrise. It was not long before it was stinking hot and we were approached with a decision. We could either stay in the treeless camp for 3 nights or move on to Lisodo or Chitove which apparently had trees. We decided to go and explore, the decision being made easier with the ever increasing heat. Pack up camp and on the road again.

To set the scene let me explain that the National Park is closed for the rainy season and only opens on 1April each year (it closes at the end of August). This means no vehicle traffic for 6 months as well as the added complication of the Jan/Feb floods in the area.

We headed off into the sun and had a great day exploring the cliffs, other camps, making new roads around fallen over trees and collecting impressive amounts of grass seeds in our radiator. We then decided to head off to our camp at Lisodo. We go down the track, pick out our path and are soon on our way to trouble. Vaughn has started to us a turn of speed to keep the engine cool as the seeds make the radiator practically useless. We descend a steep stony mountain into mopane vleiland. We stop and take a photo of the non-existent road while laughing about the lack of it. We take off and 1 metre later are stuck with all four wheels off the ground and the car suspended on the middle mannetjie. We then discovered that we had not fallen into these metre deep holes earlier by pure luck. This meant that we need to go back about 6/7 metres to freedom with a heavily laded landrover and a baby that was soon to become very grumpy. Out came the tow rope and mom and Vaughn tried to tug out the car. NO LUCK! This meant that the hard work of jacking up the front and back of the car and packing the wheels with dead wood had to begin. By this stage M was very grumpy, hot and had midges bothering her so we went off to keep her away from the excitement. It was not long after that and the spade came out to chop the middle mannetjie. Finally the wheels took hold and Vaughn raced out of the ruts and into the bush, nearly running over Kalene and landing in another hole in the process. After this short look into the possible conditions of the road to the camp we all unanimously decided to head towards Chitove camp. 2 Mad cars and their owners decided to brave the route after arriving as we were leaving. They landed up walking and then driving the 7 kms to the camp and then had to chop the grass so that they could camp.

We headed on towards Chitove and met another Legend on route. The Chitove road was not much better and we almost landed in a few holes and in the bushes on numerous times as rally Vaughn was in the lead and going with a vengeance as we all wanted to get to camp before dark. By then we had really had enough and decided to head back to the camp that we had seen early that morning. We were not concerned about the possibility of driving in the dark as the roads had not been ‘too bad’, boy oh boy. It is amazing how bad the roads become at night when you can’t see them properly. We suddenly landed up driving through all the holes we had avoided earlier, were juddering through elephant footprints that we had cruised through before and generally being bounced around in the race to beat the sun to the campsite. The sun won and we arrived in the dark again, but we were glad to have arrived at a ‘place of safety. Camp went up, M bathed and soon sleep came.

We woke up to a beautiful sunrise through the trees and decided that it was a great place to be. Everyone wandered off to do their own thing when Kalene pointed out the ‘Toilet’ sign. Boy were we pleased as we were still using the good old spade system, made more interesting with the waist high grass. We sent Vaughn off to do a rekkie of the possible toilet situation. He stomped off to scare all the snakes, we then heard a shout and did not take much notice of it. Vaughn stomps back to camp and is jumping around rummaging in the car for something. I am only to delighted at the long drop prospect and tootle off to try it out. Later he tells me that he had an episode with a hornet at the long drop – the hornet did not survive to tell his mates the tale. That was it, the giggles started and I could not keep a straight face, Kalene and mom were soon doubled over as well. We laughed all day and still giggle at the thought – only the boys don’t laugh as they are too busy going shame and Eina! Vaughn has now replaced Naked with Hornet.

After all the excitement we went off for a play in the riverbed with M and generally had a great day lounging around in the shade and relaxing. M explored an old elephant skull and generally had a great time toddling through the grass and playing in the sand while stopping to scream everytime some car arrived in the camp (good way of ensuring a peaceful camp). Another relaxed night and we were packing up again to hit the road for home. My mom had discovered that she had completely turned the steering wheel around when she drove into a huge hole two nights before and took a while to figure out which way was straight, fun especially when crossing little rock piles on riverbeds. We got to the gate to discover it locked and the guard with the key missing. An hour wait and he finally arrived and we were on our way to Bulawayo to fetch Granny Doris (Vaughn’s Granny).

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful with the only real excitement being the exhaust falling off and all the doors not closing properly as they have been shaken down in their hinges. We negotiated the dirt roads well and then headed off for another 200 km of dirt road while the others headed to the border. We had fun and games on the road with it ranging from freshly graded to bus sized potholes across the road which made the going slow but we finally arrived at Bulawayo at 19h30. A little sleep and we were on our way home again – thankfully all on tar.